This Week
In a 2003 review for Psychological Bulletin, decision researcher Christopher Anderson found that stuck decisions split into two groups.
Some decisions stall because you don’t have enough information. In these cases, more research helps.
Other decisions stall because you have enough information, but choosing means accepting a loss you are not ready to feel.
The fear of regret.
The cost of disappointing someone.
Or perhaps, the cost of disappointing yourself.
More research does not touch either of these. It only buys time.
Most circling decisions are the second kind. The evidence is already in. You are waiting for the decision to feel safer. It will not.
Mindset Hack
Ask the question that ends most loops.
Before you seek one more opinion, ask yourself:
"Am I looking for information, or for permission?"
If it is permission, no amount of research will give it to you.
That has to come from you.
The Habit That's Costing You
Consulting as a way of avoiding commitment.
One more trusted person. One more framework. One more week to think. Each conversation feels like progress. None of them close the decision.
Not deciding is still a decision. It has a cost. The avoided promotion. The delayed hire. The unsaid thing. Name the cost.
Notice the difference between consulting to think more clearly, and consulting to delay the moment of choosing.
"Clarity comes from engagement, not thought."
3 Prompts to Try This Week
Most people use AI to give them answers. For a circling decision, that is the wrong job. Use it to ask you the question you have been avoiding.
Three prompts to try this week. Paste into whichever AI tool you use.
Prompt 1: Diagnose the loop
"I have been circling a decision for [X] weeks. The decision is [describe]. Here is what I already know: [list the facts and data you have]. Here is what I keep telling myself I need before deciding: [more research, another opinion, more time]. Ask me 5 questions to figure out whether I actually need more information, or whether I have enough information and am avoiding the cost of choosing. Challenge any assumptions I appear to be making. Do not give me your opinion. Only ask questions."
Prompt 2: Name what you are avoiding
“I am stuck between 2 options. Option 1: [describe]. Option 2: [describe]. The last decision I avoided like this was [name it and what the avoidance cost me]. Do not give me advice. Ask me three questions first to understand what is at stake here. After those questions, ask:
• If I already knew the answer, which option would I be choosing?
• What action would that choice require that I may be avoiding?
• What am I making this decision mean about me as a leader or as a person?
Push back gently if my answer sounds overly rational, vagues or disconnected from what’s at stake.”
Prompt 3: Write the letter from six months out.
"Write me two short letters from my future self, six months from today. In Letter A, I chose [Option 1]. In Letter B, I chose [Option 2]. In each, describe how the decision feels now, what I wish I had trusted sooner, and what the cost of the other path turned out to be. Keep each letter under 200 words. Make the letters realistic rather than inspirational. Include both gains and trade-offs."
The 3rd is the one most clients send me a screenshot of afterwards. The letter format bypasses the analysis loop & confirms what you already knew.
Two tools to take with you:
→ 5 Biases That Quietly Distort Decisions - Confirmation, recency, status quo, overconfidence, availability. A short read on the patterns that quietly run most circling decisions, and what to do when you spot one.
→ The Eisenhower Matrix: 4 Quadrants to Run Your Week – If everything on your list feels urgent, the decision you keep circling is competing for oxygen with twenty other open loops. This is how to close them.
If you are sitting with a specific decision and want to think it through properly, a free clarity call is available.
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Until next time,
